What I Want in a Relationship

For this week’s post for the Month of Love Series I thought I’d share what I want/look for in a relationship. Sometimes I have moments where I want a connection with an individual. Especially in times where something awesome happens and I want to share it. I am also however selfish with my time and I currently have very little of it. Because of this, I probably won’t get into a relationship anytime soon. However, I think it’s a good idea to have in mind what you want to get out of a relationship.

Intellectual

The person has to be on the same level as me intellectually. I want to have deep late-night conversations about the universe as corny as it sounds. I also want to be able to learn something from the people I surround myself with. I’ve dated individuals without college educations before. I’m not saying they aren’t smart, because intelligence isn’t measured by your education, but they are however more rounded individuals. They know a little bit about everything and know enough to have a conversation about them.

Be Driven

I want them to make goals for themselves and their lives. Now, I may not be a goal-setting individual, but I am however driven. I know the things I want in life and I want to accomplish them. I’m not wandering aimlessly in the world or living day to day in the sense of what not knowing. My previous boyfriend had a “high school” job (one a high school/college student uses as a placeholder) and had no interest in moving forward or even looking into a better paying position. He would call off for days when a new video game came out so he could play it. He would call off or leave early if he just didn’t feel like going in to lay around. Now don’t get me wrong, mental health days are important, but three to five days a month is too many.

Self-respect

Who else cares about what people think about them? I like to make a good first impression and I take my looks seriously. I want someone who feels the same way. My ex would wear sweatpants out to dinner and on dates. He would do disgusting things in public like talk about his bathroom issues and didn’t care who was around. His family didn’t either. His mother once told me this story at dinner about how she and her husband were having a fart war in Walmart. She accidentally farted on a stranger thinking it was him. She was talking about it like it was a huge accomplishment that she was proud of. I need someone who has the same level of self-respect that I do. I’m ok with not caring about what people think of you, but there is a level you should have at in public.

Be Their Own Person

They have to be their own person and be ok with not spending all of our time together. I was in a long distance relationship in my first few years of college. My boyfriend got so tired of us not spending time together, he enrolled in my university to spend more time with me. I didn’t know this at the time, but he wasn’t even going to class. He would sit in his room playing video games until I was done with class, then spend the rest of the day with me until I would kick him out. He wasted nine grand and flunked out of one semester all because he wanted to spend more time with me. I understand wanting to spend time with your significant other but this went way to far. You cannot spend every waking moment with your partner. You have to have other people in your life to go to and spend time with or risk your relationship.

Respectful

I am adding this last one in here because I feel like it needs to be said even though it shouldn’t have to be. The person has to be honest, respectful, open minded and all around not a douche. If you are offended by the Gilet commercial, you are not the person for me.